Finding a good playlist is hard to find when you are a victim of emotional and narcissistic abuse. I searched for some online and didn’t have much luck, so I decided to create my own list of songs that I have collected over the past couple years that have helped me. There are so many great songs that capture the emotional turmoil a victim of abuse feels. Listening to music that captures how you feel can help heal your heart and mind during the most difficult times. I have personally added these songs to my playlist and listen to them when I need it. Please feel free to comment below if you have any songs that you feel should be added to the list.
- Warrior – Demi Lovato This is one of my favorite songs because it captures how I have felt for the past few years. After all the anger and disappointment in a relationship built on lies and deceit. I know that Demi wrote this song about her own personal battles, but if you read the lyrics you can see how true to the core this song is. Thus, this is the song that has inspired me to bring out my “Thriving Warrior” team name.
- Jar Of Hearts – Christina Perri This song is another one of my personal favorites. The lyrics in this song is so powerful and captures the emotional battles and the cycles of abuse a victim goes through.
- Bad Blood – Taylor Swift I believe that Taylor has been through a string of relationships with narcissists. She has a lot of great songs that relate to being in an emotionally abusive relationship. I couldn’t find the version with just her and it is more emotional than the version with Kendrick Lamar. If you read her lyrics, you can feel her pain and relate to them on your own level.
- Mean – Taylor Swift This is another one of my favorite songs from Taylor. She sings about how verbal abuse affected her. If you read her lyrics and see how she talks about how he always cuts her down with his words. But this song is lighter and gives you hope after the abuse, that you can move on and be happy without this abusive relationship.
- Let It Go – James Bay This is a great song for any type of breakup or relationship gone bad. But I recognized some of the lyrics in this song that I definitely relate to. “I used to recognize myself It’s funny how reflections change” is one of the verses that stands out for me. How we see everything differently after the abuse, being so happy and in love in the beginning of the relationship to end up only a shell of ourselves.
- Try – Colbie Caillat This song holds so much meaning for me, from all the cycles of abuse (15 years of it) that I have endured from my narcissistic husband. I was made to believe that all the problems in our marriage were caused by me and that I had to change and do everything the way I was expected. It was a never-ending cycle of disappointment. I would try so hard, but it was never good enough. In the lyrics there is so much I can relate to from my life, it is like it was written for me. I still get very emotional when I listen to this song, yet I know it is all behind me now…
- Who You Are – Jessie J Going through a verbally abusive relationship, this song really hit me because she sings to your soul. “Just be true to who you are!” is a verse in the song that speaks to me. Plus when she says “It’s okay not to be okay” is reassuring to a victim when we are going through the emotional turmoil. Read the rest of her lyrics, they are so powerful.
- Hot N Cold – Katy Perry I love Katy Perry and her music and I used to relate to this song way before I realized I was married to a Narcissist. One verse from the lyrics that really stands out for me is “It’s black and it’s white” because he would always say to me there are no gray areas here, it is either black or white. And also when she sings “And I can’t get off this ride” is like the typical cycles of abuse and how we are always sucked back in. It is like a sick and twisted roller coaster ride from hell!!
- Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson Of course you need to have a little of Kelly Clarkson on this list! I love this strong because it empowers us to stand up to the abuse and move on. From her lyrics one of my favorite verses is “Thanks to you I’m finally thinking about me” This song is about exactly what she is singing, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Moving on and beginning again is the best part!
- Human – Christina Perri This song signifies how I felt throughout my marriage, pretending to be happy in an abusive relationship. Years of trying to live up to his expectations and trying to make him happy even though it was never enough. Living through the shame and embarrassment from all the lies he would tell people about me. It takes a lot of courage to stand up to your abuser, and yes we are only human. But breaking away from your abuser feels like you are super human. This song and the lyrics remind us that it is okay to fall apart, it is okay to feel, it is okay to leave and that is the hardest part.
I hope this playlist is helpful for you. Take a peek at what I offer to help you in the process of healing from abuse. As a community of strong women, we are here to hold each other up. If you have any other songs that you feel should definitely be on this list, please comment below. Enjoy!