Moving on is glorious and scary all at the same time. Nothing can truly prepare you for what is to come. Starting at square one is never easy, with limited resources it can be daunting. I recently moved into my new home with my three children. I am so happy and lucky to have this opportunity, so I would never complain. The only problem is that I needed to do a lot of work to get our home ready before we moved in. I was climbing on ladders, hauling heavy stuff, painting until my arms felt like they would fall off, and hammering walls. It was all a little terrifying at first, but I taught myself so much about myself this past month…I am strong enough, I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to, and I don’t need any man to help me. Being strong and independent has really helped me learn to enjoy busting my ass and not bitching about it. When I get stumped, I google everything, you can find out how to do anything on Youtube. Figuring out answers to stupid questions on Youtube has been educating to say the least.
So many changes happen in your life after getting divorced. Although life still moves on with only new sets of problems that crop up. But I have to say I find blessings in every day, either if it’s someone who goes out of their way to make me smile or getting news about new opportunities coming up. I sat down last night in my house alone with my thoughts and wondered what took me so long to get to this point? Why did I let someone control me entirely for so many years? I lost who I was, what my passions are, my happiness. I refuse to sit and let my past anger me anymore….what’s done is done. But I do take moments to reflect on how far I have come, and it feels damn good to acknowledge how amazing my life is now. I have a lot less, but I gained a lot more in life because of it. I think my biggest fear was to be poor and all alone, well part of that is true, I am poor, but I am most definitely not alone. I don’t mean to sound like a Hallmark card, but it is true, I have found so many wonderful friends through this journey, and my family has been there for me especially through the rough spots. Finding a support system to surround you is an essential part of healing. If I didn’t have the love and support of my tribe, I don’t know how I would have survived this long.
For me, I was done with feeling sorry for myself right after the divorce papers were signed. I decided that I did not have time to wallow in my sorrows. I needed to plan out everything I need to do, starting with the most important things. I am finishing up my college degree online, got a fantastic job working from home, and began my new business life coaching other women. I finished up my certification over the summer and opened my business the following week. Oh, and I bought a house and moved! Wow, how did this all happen in one short year?
I guess my message is to let you know that you are all capable, if I can do it then so can you. I won’t lie and say it was easy and everything just clicked into place. I have had my fair share of crazy moments and many many letdowns. It is okay, we are resilient and strong enough to keep going. One piece of advice that I can share is that when you are really at the bottom, it can only get better. I hold onto this faith and continue to believe in myself and everything I have to offer the world.